Tuesday, November 6, 2007

in joint collaboration with http://coup-r.blogspot.com.

I know most of us here are nerds. And single. But why? Nerds make great boyfriends, as expertly pointed out by this article which I’ve reproduced here. My own comments are in red. Naturally, the article is full of generalisations and assumptions but taking the average, it’s a pretty damn spot-on.

Reproduced from the Best of Craig’s List:

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are… plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

Nerds are idealistic in general. This is because they are always indulging in fantasy worlds, where osananajimis, childhood promises and other sweet anime cliches prevail. This means their standards are generally in sync with the sincere and selfless fictional characters of say Honey and Clover, Love Hina etc.

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

This is very true. In fact, as I’m writing this, the wife complains that "my IE just crashed. I lost all my pictures. I can’t use firefox cos when it saves pictures, there’s a 30 second hang." To which the reply is, "Check your downloads tab and click the cleanup button." If it was a normal guy, the answer would probably be, "UH? Farriire fux? Is that some animal?"

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such… but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

In this day and age, where capitalistic romance is the norm and romanticism is measured in dollars, we splendid nerds are always creative and unique in our expressions of romance. For example, we may print a 150 cm body pillow of the wife and hug it to sleep.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

This is very true. Nerds come in all shapes and sizes and generally, all are available for selection.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

Nerds actually know more about safe sex, sexually transmitted diseases, the menstrual cycle and its driving hormones, than most people. Even girls. Then there are regular folks who write in to magazines asking if "his girlfriend will get pregnant if she drinks his sperm".

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

And all the hentai and anime we watch gives us lots of ideas.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra… all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

Again, it’s all the Japanese AV and hentai.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

I loled at this point. When was the last time us nerds visited a restaurant? As Madarame says, "eating is a luxury." We are thrifty creatures when it comes to living expenses.

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models… They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo…”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind…”

I have never clubbed before in my life. Only the occasional (annual) pub visit for football viewing. Most nerds are also homely, we’ll much prefer staying at home than going out especially to crowded places. You know the nerd mentality is all about picking one girl, just look at all eroge. There may be a harem but there’s always only one girl per route. And for School Days, if you don’t make up your mind, they kill you. So yeah, loyalty is the nerd way.

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

As stated, nerds like to stay at home. We also don’t get lonely at all because we’ve been alone for most of our lives in a room. So girls don’t get any of this stickiness and possessiveness that some other guys have. And yeah, other guys find cosplayers weird. We find them very very hot.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on…” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code… a geek can dream).

This is sooo true. :D.

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

Nerds don’t dress up. And they can’t really tell what is fashion. Anything looks perfectly fine. In fact, rags are MOE. Skirts and leggings are MOE. Gothic is MOE. Casual is MOE. Swimsuit is MOE. School Uniform is MOE.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce…

If you look at #animeblogger channel, which is full of geeks, you’ll notice that half have degrees while the other half are in college. Then if you look at #teens or something, 90% of the people there are dropouts doing odd jobs.

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps…

We don’t ever type like, "y00 h0u r u 2daE, mi feeLZZ veri siAnzzz lehx." It’s disgraceful. And most of us don’t drink, smoke or indulge in other vices. Besides masturbation.

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.

This is because of scarcity. Nerds have it hard when it comes to getting girlfriends so they treasure them a lot more. It’s like how affluent people can’t finish their food and toss them away but the starving in Africa will lick every grain up.

So girls, what are you waiting for? Get a nerdy boyfriend now!


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